Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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