Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
