well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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