Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
