batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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