just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
