i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
