i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
