Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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