If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
