His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
