i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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