Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
