Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
