Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
