I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
bring money and cleavage
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My dick has a subreddit
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
