toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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