why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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