Cold hands, warm shart.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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