and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
