Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
