Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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