That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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