so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
