you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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