how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
