How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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