So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
