this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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