Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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