Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
