so explain again why im purple
no
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
