it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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