I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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