I feel great
I just peed on a car
I understand Curling. That high.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
