how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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