They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
