Umm I'm too high to move.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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