I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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