p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
