she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Pants are for mortals
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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