I wish life had little blips of pornography
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
