My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
