I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
