the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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