Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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