he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
