I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i believe in u and ur pee
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
