I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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