i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
