i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
